Wow. Where do I even begin. I’ve been so busy moving and packing and everything I am FINALLY settled and getting a chance to write this. I tell you one thing if I never have to go through these past three years again it’ll be too soon. Can I say I regret the experience? No, because I have no idea where this path is going to take me nor would I trade the lessons I’ve learned but as of 4/1, there has been an abrupt end to all the monotony. Im just beginning this journey and I’m not quite on firm ground yet but I’m  looking forward to the day where I am 200% back on my feet and I promise you I will never take my life and what I have been blessed to receive for granted again.

I plan to write a book about it all *smile* and I think I just may call it, if there aren’t any copyright infringements, “An End to Groundhog Day”.

I think just about everyone knows my story, fell in Love, moved to build a life and business with my man, he bailed, I was S.O.L lol. And in those three years, WOW, I’ve become a completely different person. Before, I was so naive and sheltered to the ways of the world but now that I’ve gotten a “taste” I have become wiser, more street smart, more responsible with money and much more understanding to people who don’t have much monetarily.

So what have I learned? ALOT, from simple things like how use $10 dollars to eat for weeks to complex things like using reflection to build dynamic objects in C# lol. Here is a list of what I’ve learned so far during my “Groundhog Day”

Lifestyle

1. Never take your life or what you have for granted – Not even for Love. Your life and what you have is a gift. Make the best of it or in an instant it can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye.
2. SAVE! – Stop living paycheck to paycheck, accumulating stuff that you really don’t need. Stop living beyond your means and never rely on retirement. Make your way, look out for yourself. Learn to save and to plan, build a legacy if you have a family. If you are single, be more responsible for your wellbeing. It is possible for a person making 100K/year to be broker than someone making 35K/year. Learn to manage your money.
3. Nothing is guaranteed so never build your life on something that is unsure unless you can afford to do so.
4. Make sure to always have life insurance, whether you have a job or not. One thing that bothered me during this time is not having life insurance, if something would of happened to me during this time I would of been a complete burden on my family. Make sure you have ample life insurance and a will.

Relationships

1. Never waste your time trying to get someone to be in your life who doesn’t want to be there. If they want to go, let them go.
2. Don’t make someone else’s problems your own. If you have a great life, stop making other people’s issues your own in order to relate. Everyone has an opportunity to build a life they want.
3. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
4. When there is no one else, there is family. I’m about to tear up just thinking about it, if it wasn’t for my family, smh. I don’t even want to imagine.
5. You don’t need a bunch a friends, just a few tried and true ones who reciprocate what you provide in the friendship and who understand when you can’t call and talk to them all the time.
6. Unconditional Love must involve unconditional Love of self.
7. You can’t be everything to everybody, you do what you can and sometimes you have to leave people to figure things out on their own.
8. The saying “If its meant to be, it will be.” is for lazy people. Relationships take time and work to last. Only a lazy ass depends on chance to determine if their relationship will work or not.
9. If you are a woman and single, especially if you are a black woman, NEVER get pregnant if you can’t afford to do so alone. Its sad but the last thing that will keep a man most times is a child.
10. What a person says to you means nothing, their actions are everything.
11. Never burn bridges.

Personal

1. You are powerful than you could ever imagine.
2. Drink both cold and hot liquids through a straw. Cold liquids crack your teeth and hot liquids stain your teeth.
3. Take time out for you, nothing is more important than your wellbeing. You can’t fully give to others if you are broken apart.
4. Stop worrying about what other people think of you, their thoughts about you has everything to do with them and NOTHING…absoLUTELY NOTHING to do with you.
5. Once you are at your goal weight, do not buy clothing with spandex. Buy clothes in your size and if you begin to gain weight, you’ll feel the difference in your clothes and you’ll know what you need to do. Don’t buy a size 12 that expands to a size 16 and wonder…”How the hell did I get this big?”
6. Eat your fruit, juice your vegetables.
7. When down south, always have insect repellant because bugs love “new meat” and never wear your hair straight unless its naturally straight…the humidity is about 1 gallon of water per square inch lol.
8. Live your life for you, not for the world.
9. When you’re going through hard times, you find out who your real friends are. Watch them. If your life ever changes from what they know, they WILL act out for better or worse. Be prepared.
10. Never announce your intentions, what you plan on doing is between you and God/Universe/higher self.
11. You will never be able to move forward if you are still holding on to the past and what could of been. As I mentioned in Relationships #1, if people don’t want to be in your life, let them go.
12. Learn to live without attachments because you damn well can’t take any of it with you. Keep your soul light, laugh, stop worrying and have no regrets.

Household

1. When building your home, take the extra money to protect against termites and other creepy crawlies.
2. When sprinkling seasoning on your food, flick your wrist back and forth to allow for the grains to flow instead of holding it down and shaking it up and down.
3. Carpets collect way more dirt than you could ever imagine, vacuum everyday and/or leave your shoes at the door.
4. My college professor told us all to buy a mobile home when we got our jobs. I don’t think any one of us did so. Now I understand why he said it.

 Professional/Educational

1. While employed, never rely on the company for your education. Stay up to date in the latest technologies and languages. Never get so comfortable in your job that you don’t know what’s going on in your field.
2. Whether you are looking for a job or not, always have an updated resume. Keep track of all of your contributions and training.
3. Always use a job recruiter/headhunter or temp agency for assistance when looking for employment. They know what they are doing, most times we don’t lol. They will bring you the positions that are the best fit for you.
4. It takes money to make money, most times if you are broke it takes a LONG ass time for you to make money from nothing. During that time, its time to pull out your bag of tricks *wink*.
5. If you are living in a rural area and are far from “technology center” states  like Texas, Virginia or California, you may have to move in order to find employment. Relocation assistance is almost a thing of the past. Make sure you have enough money saved up to move once you have found a great job and let them know that you can afford to move so they won’t hesitate in hiring you. The fastest way to lose a potential employer is to ask about relocation assistance when they do not offer it.
6. Unless you can afford to be, “Beggars can’t be choosy.”

I will be adding to this list as I learn things and I hope that this chapter is behind me. I retained what resonated with me and dropped what didn’t…pack light. *smooches*

PS: Yup Im going to keep on singing lol