Its constantly without fail, these men tell me time and time again how their women dog them out. I mean treat them like shit on the sole’s of their shoes, and then they come to me. I console them, tell them how wonderful they truly are, SING TO THEM and I cant even SING, make them feel desired, show them unconditional Love, let me ask one question?

Baby why didn’t you call me back?

It is on! Then I aint shit, I break them down, I make them feel worthless, we apples and oranges, Im a barrier to communication, Im fat, stupid, dumb, a fool, come from a line of dumb bitches and now?! I stunt spiritual growth!?!??! This man proclaimed to me and his entire family that no other woman loved him as I did except his MOM now I just aint shit no more because he’s having a difficult time. ITS JUST NOT RIGHT!!! I HAVE A HEART!!!! I HURT TOO!!!!

And what are they going to do when they leave me? Go right to someone that makes them feel like shit for real and they are going to run up behind them, buying them gifts and flowers and rings and movies and getting tattoos everything they can to make them love them when my Love is FREE!!! I Love them just because, even after they take me down through the mud and leave me bankrupt on all levels I still choose to Love! They dont see it initially but EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM comes back…EVERY TIME. God why cant they just see at the start how much I care and Love them. Why pick apart my flaws I know I have them, instead of seeing what I brought to the table. Ay told me after he met me it made him more loving to his children! How can someone like that EVER help to stunt your spiritual growth?

Why cant it be that you’re having a rough time? Why do my men have to come home and beat my ass? Break me down so that I aint shit, kick me when Im down. Why? This man all but had God himself come down to him and say this is the woman for you but he let his pain and whatever it is he’s going through with his car and his finances affect us. I would of drove up there and been his damn chauffeur!!! UGH!!!

Im so TIRED!!!!!!

Can't Put This on Men...

I was dealing with a malignant narcissist and didn't realize it or even have a clue as to what a malignant narcissistic personality disorder was. Before him though, when I look back, I had encountered one other in Aaron, but still didn't realize it. Hindsight is 20/20