*inhale* *exhale* Wow we have been through so much this year and we have grown tremendously. Tonight I really feel we started over at the beginning and wiped the slate clean. He told me I need to have faith in him and stop being so negative and he’s right. I heard this phone call I recorded in December of 2010 and my intention was to record him snoring in the phone, having called me late at night to talk, but what I heard was me fussing and fussing and not submitting to him even when he apologized. And today he told me that the reason why he didn’t call me is because I am negative sometimes. So it wasn’t much I could say.

I love Leo and he loves me and I need to remember that no matter what. I talk all the time about the Gas Station story but I feared being left alone in Alabama and I was working really hard at making that a reality. I need to focus each day on what I want. I am not taking away anyone’s free will if he also wants to be with me. I think this is more about me releasing negativity than trying to control someone to be with me, which I do not want to do.

Currently to make this a reality, I put a daily reminder in my calendar that Loves me and that I need to remember that he needs to be a man. I know that when we are finally together its nothing he wouldn’t do for me. He Loves me, I know it I just have to stop being scared.

So as says, I need to trust him. I need to trust that we will be OK. I need to have faith in him. I need to have faith that we will be OK.

If anyone can make it work we can, because I Love the man with every ounce of my being.