What happened to Love?
Everyone has been through so much in relationships and now, most times, when we meet someone, we are only meeting a phantom of that person. People are rarely showing up fully in relationships today. And thinking about it, I have been quite selfish myself in my relationships with these men…in wanting them to Love me in return when in actuality I should of just healed what hurt and kept what I needed out of it. No its not being unfair to myself, I always get what I need as far as Love and attempting to get it from someone who is unable to Love is a bit unfair. Even if they see themselves happily as players and womanizers, its still hurt speaking. *humph* Hindsight is 20/20.
This thought reminds me that I have been here before…
I am charged with caring for a stray cat that found it’s way to me. I know its been through hell, I could feel it, and it found its way to my door step. When I’d reach out to touch him, initially, he’d hiss at me…ears set back ready to fight. Did I get mad at the cat, call it names for what it’s been through? Did I tell it to get the hell up out of my life? No, I know it had come to me for a reason so I gave it what it needed and loved that cat unconditionally. I didn’t put demands on it, I didn’t ask it for not one thing. I did as the Creator charged me to do. Take Care….whooooa feeling the Spirit here….Take Care of Your Loved One….Take Care of Yourself. So, I Loved that cat, I fed it best I could and just the other day he allowed me to touch him, although it took almost an entire year, he finally let me in.
I showed so much Love and understanding to this cat and so many times I didn’t show it to my own brother. All the compassion, the patience I showed this kitten, I revoked…I REFUSED it from my brother. So many times, I tried to meet his fury. I tried to match his wits. I knew it was only pain speaking, I knew that he had come to me to heal. I was unable to see past my own hurts, my own pains in order to see GOD in my brother. How could I when I had been serving his demigod for as long as I could remember? And the sad part about it? How often do we yell at, abuse and cast out our dogs? smh Lord I hope somebody hear me today.
I am at your feet my beautiful brother, I ask your forgiveness, my soul asks for your forgiveness. I can no longer serve a god that severs my connection with you.
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